I have turned off the news. I can't take the images anymore. I will never ever understand or make sense of what happened but I am taking away a beautiful reminder of how fragile life is. To quote The Wonder Years, "In life[...]we dance to a song of heartbreak and hope." I am trying to focus on the latter. Hope.
This morning my son refused to go down for a nap. He stood up in his crib, threw his binky on the ground and just cried and cried. Normally I would go in every few minutes to put him back down, pat his little back and get frustrated as we repeat this ritual over and over again for what feels like an eternity. But this morning, I did not hesitate to scoop him up in my arms, kiss his little head and rock him to sleep. We stared into each other's eyes - his were squinting as he tried desperately to resist sleep - and I felt like my heart could burst. It had ached since Friday and it was a relief to feel the warm rush of gratitude come in like a tidal wave. I am so thankful for the privilege of experiencing this kind of love. I am so thankful for my loved ones. Today, it makes me weak in the knees.
Labels: lake jane